I always say i’m tired. I always say i had enough of exerting too much effort for a very ungrateful person. It will then lead me to a point where i’ll delete all the stuff that reminded me of him but i end up regretting the ‘deleting’ part. I have regretted a lot of my actions in the past and to be honest, 99% of those were related to him. I overthink.. A lot. I always tell myself, “i should’ve done it this way” or “i shouldn’t have done that”. In a very wrong way, i was able to convince myself that i am in this shitty situation because of the things i did but not because things were destined to be this way. I don’t want to get into the ‘we-make-our-own-destiny’ topic because i don’t know what to believe in either but the only lesson i got off from this whole mess is that, when your feelings are real for another person, you’ll never get tired.. Never. Things may go on a spiral or a merry-go-round or even a ferris wheel or whatever circus ride you can think of (’cause that’s what love is.. It’s a damn circus), even if you’re on a dump, it is never easy to leave and move on. It just never is.