A Confession Letter From Me To You

If only i have the courage to confess, it will go a little something like this..

Dear _______,

I don’t know if you already had a hint but i like you. I’m not sure how it all started but i just felt it. Every time i see you, it feels like my body’s going through a state of emergency. It’s crazy! Believe me. I instantly panic. It’s like suddenly, i don’t have a control over my body. My nerves go crazy, my hands shake, my tummy would drop and butterflies would start fluttering in, and not to mention.. i stutter! So yeah, i’m pretty much crazy about you. So, that would explain why.. i always try to avoid you and i don’t talk much when you’re around. I wasn’t ignoring you.. i was just trying to make you think that i am not close to being weird. For that, i apologize if ever you thought that i changed because i didn’t. Remember my Christmas gift for you? This Is It by The Strokes? I just want you to know.. that you’re the only person who received a gift from me. Yeah, i’m a little crazy but don’t be scared.. this is no fatal attraction. God, no!

I can’t help but think that this is your responsibility ’cause you made me fall. It takes two to tango.. that’s what they say. i just have these questions running in my mind..

1. Why did you ask my friend about my type of guy?

2. Why do you always mention my name around our mutual friends even if mentioning me was off topic? You’re even mentioning random and funny stuff. You should know that they are actually curious to know why.

3. Do you really want to buy the albums? Do you even have a “bucket list”? Sometimes, I wonder.. is it just your excuse to talk to me? ‘Cause it’s pretty evident that you’re a bit tight on budget. I’ve been trying to tell you to just buy them yourself but you don’t want to, which is weird ’cause if you really like them.. you should have the patience to actually get them.

4. What is with you and your pick-up lines? Are all of those just tongue-in-cheek? ‘Cause boy, you sent me a picture stated, “Hindi kita bobolahin” (I will not lie to you). I hope you’re aware that you’re confusing me, really.

I have a lot in my mind.. but these four are at the top. So yeah, my feelings may never be reciprocated but i still want you to know that you’re probably the best part of my life. I learned a lot of things from you. I love how you look at the world. I love that you try to not take things seriously but i know that you’re the most sensitive guy. It’s amazing how you try to live your life day by day, trying to make the most out of it. Thank you for sharing Banksy with me and telling me how much you idolize him. This may not be your intention but thank you for all our conversations.. i just realized that we don’t talk about other people but us and i love the thought of that.

I’m graduating soon. I only have to two terms left. It makes me sad that this distance between us will even grow farther. I will miss you. Knowing you and knowing myself.. with both our prides put together, we might never be able to talk to each other again but just know that you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you, _______.

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I LOST 20LBS!

I LOST 20LBS!

yes, i am still obese and fat and chubby but i’ll get there.. i’ll be healthy. haha been struggling with my weight for so long now. then that one fateful day came, December 11, 2012. I started eating less and exercising more.

it was hard. at first, i felt deprived and my cravings got worst but i disciplined myself. i was determined to make a change, for me. so here i am, proud for achieving my first goal which is to lose 20 pounds! i’m on my way there.. a healthier me. :)

Ladies, think about it.

Love is crazy. Probably everyone knows that by now. It makes you think of the worst things. It makes you feel the unwanted. It suffocates you. It makes you want to struggle just to survive. That is love. It hurts like hell but comforts like heaven, all at the same time.

It’s a constant game of trickery and flirtation. You don’t really know what you’re getting. That constant poke of mystery which you want to uncover but are afraid to. You want to know what the deal is, really, just so you can finally sit calmly at one side. Not knowing makes you assume things which are 70% not on your favor and is worst than what it really is (principle of expect the worst). Your friends will tell you to go ask him or even confess your feelings just to get it over with. DON’T. It will leave you hollow in the end, that is if things are not mutual. I’m just saying, don’t risk it. At first you’ll think, “oh i have nothing else to lose.” Uhm, hello! You do! Aside from your broken-and-crushed-on-the-ground pride.. You will lose a friend.

No matter how big your love is for him.. Crushing your pride will give you a low self-esteem. Think about it, even if things worked out after you confessed.. Do you think you’ll be ‘that’ confident knowing that you love him more than he loves you? You’ll be constantly on his game checking out for groupies on the side. And honey, it will destroy you.

In this game of love, people say the first one who falls.. Loses but that is not entirely true. The one who fell first was only brave enough to acknowledge his/her feelings. All i’m saying is that, let him do his job. If he’s flirting with you.. Flirt back. If he’s throwing his genius pick-up lines at you.. Throw back a pick-up line. ‘Cause in the end, if he really really likes you more than anyone and if he just can’t live a day without you.. He’ll eventually tell you ’cause he will never let another man have you.