The 7 Stages Of Wanting Someone You Can’t Have


Thought Catalog

1. Realization

All of a sudden, it hits you like nothing you’ve ever felt before — Oh, shit, you really like them. This is often someone you’ve known for a long time, even a friend, a coworker, or the dreaded SO-of-a-friend, and all of a sudden you can’t get them out of your head. It’s like they’re a totally different person, and every interaction you’ve ever had needs to be reconsidered, like there must have been some kind of hidden meaning in it. You try to get them out of your head, but there they are every morning, haunting you and making you happy in equal measure.

2. Weighing the possibilities

Maybe you should say something. Should you say something? How would you even go about it? Would the two of you just get drunk together and suddenly something would happen? Even if you could get enough liquid courage in…

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The Man In My Head

I’m throwing in the towel. I’m done. This is the farthest I can go.

Maybe nothing was weird, ever. Maybe we’re just friends from the very beginning. Maybe things were never complicated and my mind was just making all these shit up. Maybe I was just over-thinking things which made me jump into conclusions, the wrong ones.

We’re just friends. At least I know that now, clearly. No more blurred lines and misinterpretations. All those maybes are now definite.

I’ve been hanging out with him and my other friends for a while now. We had lunch, dinner, and we also watched games for separate occasions. I really thought I knew him but that’s not the case at all. Being around him, in person, is intimidating. The version of him, whom i thought I knew, never made me feel that way. I realized now that I fell for the idea of him but not him. I fell for the man in my head, the idea of him whom I imagined.

He is a great friend, though. He did nothing wrong and I know that now. My fucked up mind just decided years ago to place him on a pedestal. I’ve set the bar so high for ‘his-version-in-my-head’ that ‘the-real-him’ couldn’t reach it. It’s ludicrous.

I know now not to wonder. I am not in love with him but I was in love with the idea of him. Quoting John Green, “Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are.”