Just felt like dumping this here.✌
I’m at my happiest right now. I feel like everything’s right and nothing else matters.
..well, to be completely honest, a big percentage of why i’m bursting with positivity right now is because of my weight loss. Haha Let’s just say that my confidence skyrocketed and my self-esteem has been like never before. I don’t want to brag or sound like a fucking airhead (’cause i’m not really that pretty plus i’m still fat) but when i see some guys looking at me.. turning their heads or glancing.. it feeds my ego full. Sorry, just let me lay it all out here.. i just have never experienced that before.. those days when i was 30lbs heavier.
At present, i’m happy that i’m single and i’m completely loving it. I don’t sob about it anymore ’cause why should i?
This is one of those moments that i am just so thankful for. :)
I used to think that losing weight was impossible. It was hard.. Very hard! It took me a lot of patience and discipline to get here and i am really happy about it. This transformation took half a year of sweat and clean lifestyle. Definitely worth it.
I honestly don’t know why it took me this long to realize that i was too stupid. I probably even surpassed the meaning of ‘stupid’. I’m pretty sure i went beyond that.
It was hard to hear what my friends think of my situation. My pride (or at least what’s left of it) was holding back the tears from falling from my eyes. I didn’t like the feeling when i looked at my friends’ eyes staring back at me with pity. IT KILLED MY SOUL. It was almost like.. my situation broke my heart but seeing pity from my friends’ eyes pulled out my heart off of my chest.
In the end, what happened was something to learn from. The story started with a gentleman who turned out to be a real asshole. To be honest, i don’t know what the truth is. I don’t have the slightest idea of what he really thinks about me but even without closure, this story deserves an ending and it’s tragic.
It’s amazing how much i can relate to this!
Why are boys so confusing? I mean, how complicated can a penis be? Really. Just look at them! They’re like a hanging piece of dopey flesh. Penises have an IQ of 60. They went to community college and work retail. Meanwhile, my vagina graduated Magna Cum Laude from Sarah Lawrence. It majored in “I’m Complicated.” My vagina is so smart, it even confuses me sometimes! I’m like, “Are you okay? Do we need to talk? WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?”
Boys often say that girls are just as confusing, if not more so than boys. And to that, I say “Cry me an overflowing river of dicks.” I roll my eyes every time a guy friend complains to me about girls acting sooooo crazy. “It’s like they want to hang out with me and they’re not afraid to vocalize it. It’s terrifying!” Uh huh, that’s a…
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I used to really feel bad about myself. It’s a cliché but i didn’t like the way i looked when i saw myself in the mirror.
I grew so big ’cause i didn’t give a fuck.. At all. I was happy and being too fat didn’t bother me. I still felt loved.. by men. They gave me attention and maybe every girl feeds on that.. It’s just that in my case, i fed both in attention and food.
Everything changed when i had a fight with the man i fell so hard for. (No, we’re not together. Yes, i was just overly-crushing on him. No, we didn’t fight because he thought i’m morbidly obese.) I got depressed. I cried the whole day and i had no interest to eat. (Thank goodness i’m not a stress eater which is weird for a morbidly obese human being) I acted like this for just a FEW days.
I started exercising for real when a friend of mine suggested to go to Boracay for summer. In my head, i was like “I haven’t been eating for a few days.. If i start exercising now, i’ll probably be ready for the beach.”
I changed my lifestyle completely.
I still had my ups and downs though. My immune system came crushing down. I got sick a few times but i was happy that i was losing weight fast. Some told me i was on a crash diet but what the hell.
So here i am.. 25 pounds lighter in 6 months. I am more confident now than ever before. I am happy but i still need to lose a lot of weight.. And I’m on it!!
I can only take so much.
I’m tired. I’ve been patient.. More patient than i normally am. I always looked past the things that you did and said that were too much to take in but i’m tired of doing that. I can stomach insensitive comments and statements but for you to disrespect me with no reason at all?! My mother did not bring me into this world just to be treated this way. I know i deserve so much more.
We’ve been talking constantly.. I began to know the real you then it hit me.. I really can never be with you. You’re just impossible to deal with. Your mood changes faster than mine. I’ve been patient ’cause i don’t want us to argue but it’s too much. For a second, while we were talking, i was like “Thank goodness we’re not together.” Maybe God gave me this situation as a clear sign to move on because i have been very stubborn holding on to my own excuses.
So, God, you have made your point and thank You.